My parents and my kids (again)

                        

After a fast, fun and furious weekend with my folks in town, I'm linking back to a  Previous post that sums up some of what I'm feeling today.

http://mrsdings.blogspot.com/2013/01/my-parents-and-my-kids.html

Lost and Found

                     

This is the ring my husband bought me for our sixth wedding anniversary. It has been lost for about two years now. I've looked through every suitcase and purse and pocket I could think of, searching for it. 

When we moved last November, I thought for sure we would find it. When we didn't, I gave up all hope. I figured it had been given away with one of the old purses I donated to Goodwill, and just prayed it would be a blessing to whoever ended up with it. 

So imagine my surprise this weekend when I felt inside the left front pocket of a work shirt I was wearing to camp in!  I was looking for a ponytail holder and instead, felt a circular hard thing about the size of a ring. 

"It can't be!" I thought as I scrambled to unbutton the pocket. 

Of course, it was!

Yay!

I ran over to my husband and showed him the ring and we both celebrated its return. 

It's amazing how much joy can come from finding something you thought was lost forever. 

Of course, it was never really lost. It had been in my possession the whole time.  I'd worn the shirt several times between putting the ring in that pocket and discovering it again. I just couldn't use it because I didn't realize I had it. 

I lost another thing when we moved last November. I didn't realize it for several weeks after we moved, because of all the hubbub and busyness that surrounds moving. But a few weeks later I went to draw upon it, and I simply couldn't find it. 

It was my joy. 

I could give you all kinds of reasons why. But the simple truth is, I was looking for it in the wrong place.

I had found happiness in time with friends, in my house that had become a home filled with 15 years of memories, in raising my kids surrounded by other families who looked just like mine and shared similar values. I even found it in a state where I knew most every nook and cranny and had people I called friends in most of them. 

All of a sudden that was all gone, and with it, I thought, went my joy. 

Unlike the ring, I didn't give up hope of finding it. No, the one thing I've learned in my years as a Christian, is to run, don't walk, to God and His Word when you are in need. So that's what I did. 

I began reading each chapter in the Bible where the word joy occurred to try and find mine again. I cried and read and took notes. I'm happy to say I'm not done yet. (There are THAT many occurrences of the word joy!)

Over time, it started creeping back in. The more time I spent with God, learning to trust Him all over again, soaking in His love for me, and His control over all things, the more joy seemed possible to me.

The day I found my ring, I realized that not only was the ring back, but so was my joy. It wasn't the same sudden discovery, but a slow steady progression. 

It too, had been with me all the time. 

"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy." Psalm 126:5

"But the fruit of the Spirt is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance; against such there is no law." Galatians 5:22

Working with God

There was a fun "artsy-fartsy" event here in Loveland recently. I took the kids and they were each able to paint panda pictures. There was a lady up front who gave us, and the other 20 or so children, step by step instructions on how to do it. 

Both of my children followed the step by step instructions. One allowed me to help and one insisted on doing it independently. 

It reminded me of those times when I try to accomplish the things in the Bible all by myself. Yes, I have the step by step instructions, (Praise The Lord!) but even still, I am unable to accomplish what it asks me to do if I insist upon doing things independently, without God. 

Now, these two pictures are both hanging up in our house and both are loved and it is almost with pride that I tell you the one child insisted on doing the work without any help. The paintings are fun, but inconsequential. 

When the painting is your marriage, or the raising of your children, or your relationship with your neighbor, or ministering to widows and orphans, the consequences of not doing it well become greater. 

But it's never too late to ask for God's help. Jesus did an amazing thing to make Himself available to us. To walk with us, to work through us to do the good works which God created in advance for us to do. 

"For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."  Ephesians 2:10

"For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." Phillipians 2:13

Beautify beyond your bounds

This picture does not do justice to the pleasant little surprise that this rock lined patch of flowers was the day that I saw it. 

The kids and I were walking our dog along the "green belt". Which in our neighborhood is really an alley, that happens to grow grass. It's sort of a shared yard, or an excuse not to give people their own large yards, but evidently was a cool trend in the 80's when this neighborhood went in. 

They get very little use. Unlike alleys, you can't actually drive on them, so they don't provide access to the back of your property. Most people do have a little walking gate in their fence, that would allow them to access it, but most rarely do. 

So, basically, you walk in this great meadow, beautiful enough in the eyes of this NM girl, (although, I did think several times what a waste it was not to have cattle on it, or at least a tethered goat) and look at the backside of a bunch of houses. 

Imagine my surprise when I came across this little jewel. Someone has taken the trouble to plant a few flowers and put some rocks in a semicircle. For the pure pleasure of it. Hardly anyone sees it. It isn't even, technically, their own property. 

It could be a child. Or someone childlike. I love it. 

It made me ask myself the question. "Am I beautifying anywhere outside my boundaries?"

I think we all get comfortable with our areas of responsibility. My house. My yard. My job. My family. My kids. And many of us do a good job beautifying those areas. 

As women, I believe that is something innate within us that God gave us, the desire to make things more beautiful. 

But do we ever go outside our borders and beautify someone else's house? Someone else's yard, job, family, kids?

Now, maybe you are, like I have been lately, adjusting to a big change in your life and just hanging on for dear life, barely able to keep up with the basic necessities, forget beautifying anything. 

This is not a guilt trip. 

Just consider giving yourself permission to beautify something today. Neglect your chores if you must. I bet this beautifying will nourish your soul. 

And might inspire someone else. 

"Blessed be The Lord God of our fathers which hath put such a thing as this in the king's heart, to beautify the house of The Lord which is in Jerusalem. " Ezra 7:27

That time I asked God for Dolly Parton and He gave me Handel

This past Easter morning, I woke up humming a song I remembered Dolly Parton singing - He's Alive. 

Of course, living in this high tech world of ours, I pulled up a performance of hers on Youtube and cried my way through that glorious song. The kids came down for the day and I shared it with them. I could not get it out of my mind and decided to purchase it on iTunes. 

I listened to it on repeat that morning as I got ready for church and thought to myself in the shower, "Wouldn't it be great if they performed this song at second service today?" The worship music in second service is contemporary, so it was a possibility. But a longshot. 

My husband and I usually attend second service after a Bible Study we enjoy during first service. However, I realized just as quickly that since there was no Bible study that day, we'd be attending first service. 

They have beautiful, amazing music in first service. There's a great big choir that makes me feel as if I am truly surrounded by the praise of God. It's wonderful. But they don't, to my knowledge, do Dolly Parton. 

Still, I was looking forward to worshiping Christ our risen Savior on that beautiful Easter morning no matter what they sang. 

Later, standing in the sanctuary, surrounded by the praise of God, tears started streaming down my face as the choir performed, and we all sang along with, Handel's Hallelujah Chorus. 

If more beautiful music has been written, I don't know it. 

And all I had asked for was Dolly Parton. 

Isn't that just like God?

It is. 

In Acts Chapter 3, we get a story about a crippled beggar who just wants a handout. The Bible says he was crippled from birth. 

     

When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him as did John. Then Peter said, "Look at us!"  So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. 

      Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have, I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Acts 3:3-6

Of course, he walked. 

He had been looking for a little change, maybe enough for a meal, or even enough to get him through til the next day. What He received was a MIRACLE. 

So is a church choir playing Handel on Easter a MIRACLE?  Hardly. 

But it sure did remind me that God loves us and wants to give us more than we could ever ask or imagine.  (See Ephesians 3:20)

That he loves me at all is a MIRACLE. 

That he further wants to give me more than I ask for is a MIRACLE. 

The good news is, He loves you too. And He wants to give you more than you ask for. Let Him. 

Serving joyfully

http://shop.paperfinger.com/products/joy-calligraphy-wall-decal

I've been doing a word study on joy. That is, I looked up every time the word joy occurs in the Bible, and then I am studying that passage to see what is happening and try to learn from it.

It has been so good. I am by nature a glass is half full kind of person, so any help I can get with joy I'll take!

One of the most powerful lessons I learned came from 1 Chronicles 15:16. "Then David spoke to the chiefs of the Levites to appoint their relatives the singers, with instruments of music, harps, lyres, loud-sounding cymbals, to raise sounds of joy."

Here, David is bringing the ark of the covenant to the city of David. They tried this once before and failed. 

David puts it this way in verse 13 of the same chapter "because you did not carry it at the first, The Lord our God made an outburst on us, for we did not seek him according to the ordinances."

They hadn't done it God's way, and so they were punished. 

Now, they were doing it God's way. And a part of that doing it God's way was joy. 

Notice, doing it the right way didn't produce the joy; joy was a key ingredient in doing it the right way. 

Paradigm shift. I shouldn't think of joy as a result, but an element. In other words joy is an ingredient in the recipe of godly living. 

I've had it backwards. I've been serving, serving waiting for the joy to come as a result instead of serving joyfully, all along. 

Here is another verse that emphasizes the importance of serving God joyfully. 

"Because thou servesdt not the Lord thy God with joyfulness and with gladness of heart, for the abundance of all things; therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which The Lord shall send against thee in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck until he have destroyed thee." Deuteronomy 28:47-48

What happens when the obstacles on the track are people?

Photo credit - run.com

I have started running. And, because of the nature of winters here, I've been running at the gym on an indoor track most days. 

Which can be aggravating. 

Here's why. In spite of a very clear sign posted in several spots around the gym, to walk on the inside of the track and run on the outside of the track -  people don't.

In other words, there are obstacles, and they are all human.

I've tried to think of clever phrases to throw out as I pass. "Walkers on the inside."  "Read the sign."  "Passing."

But then I thought better of it. 

I'm not the indoor track police. And I don't want to be. Really. 

I just want to run and relax and enjoy myself.  I can't be responsible for them.  I can only be responsible for me. 

I decided to adopt a new philosophy, just run. Dodge the elderly and the teenagers who can't or won't read. And the primpers who are swishing their hair as they glance in every reflective surface they pass. ;) 

Just run. 

It reminded me of one of my favorite Bible verses:

"Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody." 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Mom Heart Conference 2014

My littles. 

I recently went to the Mom Heart conference in Denver, CO.

 I enjoyed every minute of it -well except for maybe the panicky few minutes I spent fearing they were only going to feed us a salad for lunch on Saturday and trying to figure out how to sneak out to get something more substantial to eat - but I digress. (They served chicken too, whew!)

All of the speakers were terrific, but my favorite talk was the one Sally Clarkson gave on Friday evening. I really hope it is available to purchase soon because I could listen to it over and over and learn something new each time. 

I'm a big note-taker, but I'm afraid I didn't even take very many notes because I was so mesmerized by her passion and energy and vision of motherhood. It is beautiful. 

I did take away one thing though, that I want to share here. 

Raise your kids in a way that they want to be with you. Not just now, but in the future too. Make a home so great that they want to come back to it - that they want to be in it now. 

My sister in law and I had a conversation over the holidays about asking older women if this is as good as it gets. If this time at home with our little kids is it, then maybe we want to pay closer attention or enjoy it more. 

I think Sally did a beautiful job of answering that question for me. Not only is NOW the only time God gives us -so yes, we should enjoy it more - but NOW sets the tone for everything that comes next. NOW turns into days, which turn into weeks, which turn into months, which turn into years, which turn into a childhood. And then they are gone. Will they want to come back?

And no, you can't possibly do it alone.  But with God you can do any thing. I can do anything. 

"Build generations of people who take over the world with the kingdom of God message." Sally Clarkson Mom Heart Conference. Denver, CO 2014

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish woman with her own hands tears it down. Proverbs 14:1

The Snow Shoveling Good Samaritan

Where I live, it's snowy. As you can see from the photo above. 

I live in a neighborhood, as you can also see from the photo above. And that is new to me. Yes, I used to live in a neighborhood before, kinda, but we were on 1 acre lots with no sidewalks and no city services. 

So, when I went to check my mail in this neighborhood, where I now live, with all the services, I was not sure if what I was seeing was normal or not. You see, the area around the mailboxes had been shoveled. 

I was perplexed. 

The roads hadn't been plowed, the mail hadn't been delivered. Had the city sent out a special crew just to shovel around the mailboxes?  

Absurd. Besides, mail is like a federal thing right?  And we all know how bad the federal government is at executing things. (Think Obamacare.) Can't be them. 

So who was this mysterious snow shoveler?  Who on earth would shovel snow voluntarily? 

Well, it took a few weeks, but I finally caught her in the act. I saw the woman who lives across the street come over and shovel the area the last time it snowed. 

How lovely. How kind. How thoughtful. 

Now, we could spend a lot of time speculating as to the motives, but really, it doesn't matter. I have an actual Good Samaritan living in my neighborhood. 

And I want to go and do the same. 

"Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by the bandits?" Jesus asked. 

The man replied, "The one who showed him mercy. "

Then Jesus said, "Yes, now go and do the same."  Luke 10:36-37

Clutter free with Kids

Drumroll please.    

Joshua Becker is launching his new book, Clutterfree with Kids today. I am thrilled to have been asked to review it.  I've read three of his other books about minimalism and enjoy reading his blog at www.becomingminimalist.com. I am happy to be able to recommend his latest book to you. 

"What if there was a better way to live life? . . . . . One that boldly declares there is more joy in owning less than can be found in pursuing more. That truth would change everything about us. . . . . And it may just line up with everything your heart deep down has been telling you all along." 

                                                                      -Joshua Becker, Clutterfree with Kids

There are not too many books out there that give advice on minimalism for parents. Most of the popular minimalists are sort of young and hip and able to live in tiny houses - or bigger houses with nothing in them. Clutterfree with Kids is practical minimalism for the rest of us. 

Mr. Becker does a great job in this book of encouraging people to pare down out of a desire for more of the things that truly matter in life.  This book is full of practical suggestions, covering kid centric issues such as toys, clothes, artwork, sentimental items, collections and more. 

"Less is different than more. Owning nothing is not the goal of Clutterfree. Intentionality is."

                                                                    -Joshua Becker, Clutterfree with Kids

He also tackles the tough issues of screen time and schedules, moving from the concrete world of decluttering "stuff" to prioritizing activities and optimizing schedules. 

Do you have teenagers? A reluctant spouse?  Preparing for a newborn? Maybe you are interested in minimalism because you long to leave the workforce and come home to be with your kids. Great news. There are chapters in Clutterfree with Kids that deal with each of these challenges. 

"Living life is more enjoyable than managing and organizing stuff." 

                                                                  -Joshua Becker, Clutterfree with Kids

Whether this is your first introduction to the concept of minimalism, or you've read extensively on the subject, I'm certain you will find helpful strategies for decluttering, prioritizing, and generally enjoying life more in Clutterfree with Kids. 

You can purchase a Kindle copy of the book today for only $2.99. Just click on the book cover pictured above and you'll be taken straight to Amazon. 

A good gift for an obedient son

  

     We have just recently moved. 

     Which makes us feel sorry for other people who are moving and want to help them. (Well, at least the adults in our household -more on this later). 

      So when we heard that some new acquaintances here were moving, my husband volunteered to go lug boxes. And I volunteered to let him. On my birthday. As long as he took our son with him. 

      Said son is 5 years old and would probably have been more enthusiastic about helping someone else move if he hadn't just lived through a move himself. He wanted to do anything BUT help move. Even though it meant leaving the house with Dad, which he usually loves. 

      Needless to say, lectures about helping others and "Don't you remember all the people who helped us and how much we appreciated them?"  "God loves when we serve others." 

     Nothing. 

     Finally we got down to "Get dressed and get in the truck."  

     Obedience. 

     And away they went. One cheerfully and the other begrudgingly, but at least they were going. 

     When they got there, a surprise was waiting for them. One brilliant Momma who was helping organize the move, had planned for all the little kids to be taken to a jump/fun/play room/
restaurant kind of thing. (My apologies for the lousy description, but having never set foot in one, it's the best I've got. No plans to remedy that anytime soon, by the way.)

    And so, our reluctant mover's assistant was rewarded with a day of play surrounded by other littles and potentially new friends!

     Isn't that just like God? I love it when he does things like this in my life, but I love it even more when he does it in the lives of my kids. He rewards obedience. 

     And you can be sure I pointed that out to my boy when he got home that afternoon. 

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father and I too will love him and show myself to him." John 14:21

Grandpa

I stopped blogging last May when my Grandpa died.

Suddenly nothing I could say seemed very important.

And how could I possibly start writing again without writing about this man who meant so much to me? Whose loss I am certain to feel every day for the rest of my life?

It hurt too much for too long and I knew that whatever I said would be inadequate.

But the time has come.

My dad wrote a great story about Grandpa that my son read at the memorial service. Be sure to have him tell you about it the next time you see him. It told a simple story about my grandpa that related a profound truth about him. He was always there when you needed him and went to extraordinary lengths to be sure he was.

While I'm not near the story teller Dad is, I want to share my own story about Grandpa.  The profound truth is that he had a way of making everyone he was with feel special. Important. Good at things. Loved.

When I was a teenager I was attacked by the ugly tree. Some kids go through an awkward phase, but mine was more like an awkward decade. I grew really tall really all at once, had pimples, didn't have a clue how to wear my hair or do makeup. I was a mess. And I knew it. Even those closest to me knew it. And I could see it in their eyes.

They had hope for the future, but were clearly aware that the once moderately cute little girl that I used to be had morphed into a painfully awkward and ugly teenaged mess.

Except Grandpa.

He came to visit us (as he did often) and we all went for a horseback ride (as we all did often). We rode past a patch of lavender colored flowers and I was wearing a lavender colored shirt that day. He asked me to get off my horse and go sit in the patch so he could take some pictures of me. He loved taking photos and had a really nice camera at the time.

You would have thought I was a supermodel the way he oohed and aaahd and had me sit this way and that.  He made me feel great; silly at first, but ultimately great. 

Loved.

It wasn't an act. It wasn't something he schemed to do to encourage me or anything. It was just him. 

He was so kind that it filled his eyes and through that filter I actually looked beautiful.

To him, most people did.